by SS Hari Kaur Khalsa, Espanola NM
“Oh my Soul, I am in bliss, for I have seen the True Guru.”—Guru Amar Das, Anand Sahib
In the early morning, part of my sadhana is going outside to marvel at the stars, moon, and planets. Each time I step outside I feel my breath catch at the wonders of God’s magnificence and beauty and the timelessness and radiance of space.
On January 27, 2019 as I opened the door and looked up, my heart exploded with such joy and bliss. In the eastern sky, smiling at me, the quarter Moon, Jupiter and Venus were in alignment. This means they were the closest they would be to each other this year.
As I stared with awe and wonder, I heard their whispers in my heart, the whispers of old friends reunited to vibrate their song of bliss, the sound of God’s name. I heard their Anand. It was their love song to God.
My love for Guru Amar Das’ Anand Sahib and the banis has grown over the years. I didn’t realize how Guru’s words were my anchor until June 2016, when I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, an incurable but treatable blood cancer. I shattered into a thousand pieces when I heard the words “you have cancer.”
The months of treatments, including a stem cell transplant, were hard. Several days post-transplant, I was hospitalized for serious side effects. Having no immune system, I felt myself floating through time and space as if in an unknown dimension. I listened to the banis and felt anchored again.
For days, as I lay in my hospital bed, as Anand Sahib would begin, I would feel myself relax and drift into the bliss of the amrit, the sweet love of God and Guru. This feeling has continued to this day, each time the Anand Sahib starts. No matter where my mind has gone—whether stressed, tired, fearful, scared or endless monkey chatter—while listening to or reciting the banis, my shoulders relax, my mind calms and I feel—if even only for a moment—blissfully in God’s Love.
Anand Sahib is Guru Amar Das’ love poem to God. His eyes have seen the True Guru and everything he sees is God. With Anand Sahib, each day I receive the Amrit Nectar and with this bliss comes the courage to be with my dying.
About the Author
SS Hari Kaur Khalsa resides with her husband in Espanola, NM. She worked as the medical officer in India at Guru Nanak Fifth Centenary School and GRD Academy. On returning to the US, she became a nurse practitioner to be able to provide medical care to underserved and disenfranchised populations, including those with HIV/AIDS, the homeless and LGBTQ youth. She has worked in the medical field for over 35 years and co-founded Southwest CARE Center in Santa Fe, NM. Before her cancer diagnosis in 2016, she was the owner of Healthcare Whisperer, Inc., a patient advocacy and healthcare navigation business. She currently spends her time living with her dying, studying the stars, planets, universe, and quantum physics and being ever grateful for the love and support of family, friends, and sangat.