by SS Siri Vias Singh and Siri Chand Kaur Khalsa, Espanola NM
“Give our children fearless minds so they may see the world through the Guru’s eyes.”—Song of the Khalsa
This is our prayer for our children’s future, that they will be fearless in the face of martyrdom, in the face of impossible odds, the way the Gurus viewed the world. We must teach our children values and spirituality, give them security in God, and train them to overcome obstacles and achieve their greatest goals.
Our best efforts must go to the creation of calm, safe, and secure home lives to bring our children into the world without insecurity. This requires us as parents to have security in our own lives, our finances, and our marriage relationship, and to have a strong sadhana to keep ourselves centered and uplifted.
We must then teach our children to be fearless. We cannot allow them to cower from their fears, whether they fear failure, pain, rejection, or even death. We must give them skills to develop their own strength and overcome problems, but we also push them when necessary to jump into the deep end and find their way.
We have to resist our society’s methods of swaddling children with bicycle helmets, car seats, and a culture of fear, and allow them to fall off their bikes and wander through the woods without constant supervision. Our lives are in the hands of the Guru, and that must be our message to our children.
Children are the Arrows
The Siri Singh Sahib also taught that children are the arrows, and parents are the bows with which to launch them. Conscious parenting requires us to visualize our children as the great people that they can become, and focus our efforts to bring that into reality.
Out of fear, laziness or lack of vision, many parents do not direct their children’s development toward goals of future success. Without a parent to push children toward a greater vision, they will fall into mediocrity and never gain the skills needed to achieve greatness.
True parenting takes sacrifice, hard work, dedication, and discipline in developing our children into the greatest versions of themselves—Khalsa, educated, successful, healthy, happy, and holy.
As children come into teenage years and then to adulthood, it becomes harder for us as parents to dictate their behavior. This requires that our work has to be done early, teaching them when they are young about the reasons for everything we do, from yoga and meditation, to bana, to diet and exercise, to hard work and following through on our plans.
We must believe it in our heart and soul. Then we must be strict with them, refusing to allow them to quit, to fail, or to give up on what is important. Most importantly, we work to inspire their love for this path by involving them in Gurdwara through seva and beautiful bana, giving them kirtan lessons, Gurmukhi lessons, and gatka lessons, and taking them to great Sikh events all over the country.
Our measure of success as parents is to see our children grow up to be fearless Khalsa who have the skills to achieve whatever they want in their lives.
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